Mad Hatter [Kadaj x Reader]

/My friends don't walk, they run/
/Skinny dip in rabbit holes for fun/
/Popping, popping balloons with guns, getting high off helium/
/We paint white roses red/
/Each shade from a different person's head/
/This dream, dream is a killer/
/Getting drunk with the blue caterpillar/

The doctors could never find anything that would even slow the sickness down, nor could they provide you with the consolation needed as a (possibly temporary) coping mechanism. All they could do was diagnose you, send you out, and that would be that. With how gloomy everyone has been - added to the younger children crying from hopelessness -, you and yourself concluded that you most likely are going to die, no matter how strong your will may be.

Though, your parents needed you to be strong, so that they could keep what little hope they had left. Their baby girl wasn't going to lose her faith so quickly, even though everyone around her was doing so. No matter what, you were going to keep strong, and uplift the kids so that they can feel like there is hope for them - and there was.

And then they came. Those... strange men, with silver hair and black leather clothes.

They said that they would help you and the others, and that you could all be a 'family'. But... how would you be 'family'? Was there something about your Geostigma that someone wasn't telling you? Something didn't feel right about those men, but with how hopeless it seemed, everyone suffering followed them without hesitation. Much unlike your expectations, they'd been sweet to you lot, assuring you that they would make the sickness go away.

The day that they came for you, though, the leader - the shortest one, with eyes that could freeze whatever came into their vision with a single glare - said that you had 'potential'. Tugging you aside from the other children, he introduced himself and his brothers to you, treating you as if you were one of his siblings - one of his true siblings. It felt like you could breathe at last, like there really was hope for you and the other kids. These men - Kadaj, Yazoo, and Loz, they called themselves - helped you feel like you never had the Stigma.

"Mother has given you a gift, as she has for all of her children," Kadaj had said to you, regarding your illness. "This is what will help us take revenge on the planet, for the heinous doings humanity has done against it. For this reason, you and I are brethren, [y/n]. Now, be a good daughter for mother and don't try anything stupid." Probably meaning taking someone and hightailing it the frick out of there. Really, that didn't feel like a very good option - not at the time, anyway.

Kadaj was nice to you and the other kids; never once yelled at or struck you lot. His brothers extended the same grace, not even bothering themselves with even conversing with you. Though, the biggest - and probably the most sensitive - brother, Loz, was pretty darn easy to bother. The slightest bit of mockery, be it to 'mother' or himself, could send him into tears in a matter of split seconds. Teasing him was fun, but apologies and hugs as a sort of aftercare were not unusual.

/I'm peeling the skin off my face/
/'Cause I really hate being safe/
/The normals, they make me afraid/
/The crazies, they make me feel sane/

Though, you'd slowly begun to grow a feeling that Kadaj and his brothers knew something that you did not, and though you did have the option to join the children in the black water, he had a better idea. Your Geostigma was the result of 'mother's' cells, and you were a girl of considerable spirit and enduring hope. So, Kadaj let you in as his "sister", so to speak, teaching you how to fight and what was right and wrong in his eyes. Despite not really liking the idea of turning away from the light to face the glow of mako, what choice did you have, if you wanted any chance of curing the stigma?

Over time, you'd learned the mannerisms of the boys; everything you'd ever need to be able to know how to handle them in situations where you felt threatened or like you had to keep them in line. Kadaj has a short fuse, but his anger, depending on how far he's pushed, can be easy to quell. Yazoo is very chill and laid-back, despite being the kind to attack without hesitation - thus, you don't need to worry about him too much.

Loz, on the other hand...

...Let's just say that anything can reduce him from a big, menacing giant to a sniveling, whimpering mess, and leave it at that.

Despite the fact that he's let on that he's insane, you feel particularly close to Kadaj. It could just be that he was the one that welcomed you into his band of siblings with open arms, but you cannot help feeling as if it also means something deeper. Though, you're not interested in anything aside from curing the stigma; such a thing would never occur to you, even though you're becoming a woman. There's absolutely no way you'd even entertain the thought of courting anyone; there's no reason to. After all, with the fate of your family and friends - and yourself, but you're irrelevant - in your hands, you don't have the time to even bat an eye at matters of love.

Admittedly, however, the more time you spent with Kadaj, the more in tune the two of you became. Maybe it was just a side affect from the cells - or just your Geostigma slowly making you delirious -, but sometimes, the two of you would talk about what the future of the planet might be, and your mixed feelings about it. Although he always looked hurt each time you displayed negativity towards the possibility of the planet's destruction, you'd make up for it with being happy that the suffering might end if the planet is as bad as he said it is. As stated before, you've barely started caring if he's lying or not; you just want assurance that there's hope for those like you.

Though, remembering Loz's words to you, "When mother gets here, she'll decide what's best." You'll assume that means when "mother" comes back like Kadaj said, the fate of the planet will ultimately be in her hands. It honestly makes you wonder just who "mother" is. Then again, that particular question is probably better left unsaid.

/I'm nuts, baby, I'm mad/
/The craziest friend that you've ever had/
/You think I'm psycho, you think I'm gone/
/Tell the psychiatrist something is wrong/
/Over the bend, entirely bonkers/
/You like me best when I'm off my rocker/
/Tell you a secret, I'm not alarmed/
/So what if I'm crazy? The best people are/
/All the best people are crazy, all the best people are/

Over time, though, you'd begun to notice that you'd sometimes go in and out of focus, and you'd occasionally see what nobody else would. Although you suspect they're just symptoms of the Stigma, Kadaj told you that "mother's" cells were trying to tell you something. Though, you can't help feeling like you shouldn't keep listening to everything that he tells you, even if his intentions are good. Slowly, this had been eating at your head, screwing with your sanity.

Time and time again, you'd begged for the truth, but you just got the same sentence: "Mother is trying to talk to you. Listen." You tried, and all you heard was the sound of the Stigma to continue plaguing your body. It could be that you just don't really trust anybody anymore, but then again, the brothers are diabolical; any hunches could be right - especially given what the voices in your head are beginning to tell you.

In addition to said voices, you'd begun having episodes where you'd forget who you are, where you are, and what you're doing. Although these are only for short periods of time, it almost always happens at the worst time. Be it in the middle of a practice fight with Loz or Yazoo - Kadaj is always too busy to give you a session, although the other two have been excellent tutors - or discussing what to do next, the amnesia episodes were annoyingly frequent. You couldn't do anything about them, though.

Not only that, but sometimes, you'd wake up and not be able to move or speak. Your eyes would be open, and you would be able to hear what's going on around you. Sleep paralysis? Perhaps, but the shadow people that those with it would see are absent from your case. Still, that does not stop your throat tightening, your heart leaping into your ears, or your skin growing clammy and cold. Seconds felt like hours, and the occasional hour felt like days.

Once you were released from the night terrors, you took a deep breath, holding it in an unconscious fear that it'd be the last you'd ever take. Should you let that breath out, you'd surely suffocate. However, once your heartbeat returned to normal, and your skin got back its natural color, you began breathing normally once again. You'd pause, sitting up for a few moments, but then you'd lay back down, going back to sleep with hopes that you wouldn't have to go through that for the rest of the night - and you usually didn't.

Lately, however, the night terrors have grown more intense - with the addition of the shadow people. Sometimes, you'd have equally intense tremors, your heart would skip a beat or two, and your breathing would be almost completely cut off. If you really paid attention, you'd feel something gripping you, be it at the throat or the wrist, trying to pull you down into whatever void is waiting. The only time you'd been able to break away was when the night terrors ceased, which felt like a very long time.

Eventually, you caved in, letting Kadaj, Yazoo, and Loz in on just what is going on. However, they didn't really seem that inclined to help you, despite the fact that you're their "sister". What could they do to help, anyway? There's nothing that can get rid of sleep paralysis - at least, you think so. If this is what preparing for "mother" to arrive feels like, you're not sure if you want to keep going on like this.

Enough is enough.

So, being the girl you are, you'd slipped away when they were distracted, managing to escape them with little to no difficulty, which brings it all back to this particular moment.

/Where is my prescription?/
/Doctor, doctor, please listen!/
/My brain is scattered/
/You can be Alice, I'll be the mad hatter/

Under the cloak of darkness, you're running for your life, clutching your katana tightly in your hands. Although the brothers have been nothing less than merciful - if not kind, that is - to you, you can't live the way you have been anymore. If "mother" is having these affects on you, then she's a mother you don't want to have. After all, you want to be healthy, not insane. Kadaj already has that title, truth be told.

"[y/n]~!" Speak of the devil and he will come. "Come back, little sister! You are causing us much grief!"

Good.

Almost as if taking shortcuts can help you, you quickly maneuver through and over rocks, crevices, and goodness knows what else you've been able to squeeze into. When you just so happen to start doing this every day, you lovely little snowflake you, you might be able to fit the mold of SOLDIER material. Then again, you're not too sure that SOLDIER will accept girls, despite not being said to be restricted. You might try sometime, but your chances of everyday survival are already slim.

It's honestly strange, how true the saying "Not everything is how it seems" truly is. Just when you thought you'd found people that could help the other kids, what you instead found was three pieces of a hauntingly gorgeous nightmare. Once you'd allowed yourself to let people in that said that they could help, you'd been dragged into something you will need to struggle with all of your might to get out of. Though, what, pray tell, would be able to help you in this situation?

"You look so cute when you're confused, [y/n]!" Leave it up to Kadaj to snap you out of your thoughts - wherever he might be.

One thing that you've learned thrice during your time with the triplets is that they can jump out at you without so much of a sign. So, you're without the option of grabbing a nearby rock and hurling it at the swordsman. If you had the option, you're beyond sure that he'd be on the ground writhing in pain by now. That, or suffering from a concussion. One of the two.

Or maybe a third unforeseen outcome where he deflects the rock and runs up to impale your chest. In all honesty, that'd be the best one.

This isn't gonna work, You groan to yourself as you squeeze through another crevice. Though, I'd prefer this over being back there. Then again, I'd prefer anything over being back in that Minerva forsaken place. Once I'm done with this, I've got to head straight back to Edge. There's legitimately no chance of a successful escape if I can't make it there.

Unless...

Glancing upwards, you take note of some boulders just above you. From the look of their structure and size, they don't look particularly stable. So, if you play your cards right, you'd make the perfect distraction, and buy yourself enough time to escape from Kadaj. Nice planning, [y/n]. Do you hear the Lifestream praising your efforts?

Letting out a deep exhale, you walk so that the boulders are just behind you, stopping short of the end of the rocks. With dread twisting your stomach and tying it in a knot, you close your eyes, clearing your mind and listening to the surrounding sounds. Little by little, you release your black skirt from your fists, raising your arms so that your whole being is open to any sort of attack. Despite your cool and calculated expression, you make sure to give off the sign of surrender.

/I'm peeling the skin off my face/
/'Cause I really hate being safe/
/The normals, they make me afraid/
/The crazies, they make me feel sane/

shk!

The sound, shrill yet muffled, doesn't sound too far away. However, it doesn't sound close, either. Just a little bit longer...

crunch

Here we go!

Opening your eyes, you quickly spin around. Lo and behold, Kadaj is in a stance, souba gripped tightly in his hand. Though, upon realizing you'd turned around, he stops, eyes broadening at your agility. Without giving him too much time to react - much less a window of opportunity -, you quickly ram into the boulders, knocking out a smaller one and gaining the desired outcome.

With earth-shaking force, the structure falls apart. Quickly, you run off, not even bothering to check and see if Kadaj got caught underneath; it doesn't matter. The rocks would either crush him or pick up enough dust to completely shield you from his vision. So, in both instances, you win and earn a free ticket back to Edge as a survivor of the Three Musketeers.

With each adrenaline fueled step you take, you can feel your body cry out for a rest. Although you're normally one to listen to what it is telling you, you're far too occupied with entertaining the thought that you might finally be free from the hell that Kadaj, Yazoo, and Loz put you through. Nevermore will you be ignored, nor will you have to deal with the vicious night terrors that interrupt and terrorize your slumber. Finally, you can rest and see small bunnies at last. Even the normal person's definition of a nightmare sounds like a good dream to you.

What are you going to do when you get back to Edge, though? The first thing that comes to mind is getting a proper shower - it's pretty hard to find the right time to shower when cabin doors don't have locks -, but you also have people to greet. Your parents are probably worried sick, and there's also some other people that you surely need to see. Names don't come easily to you anymore; the time spent with Kadaj and the other two have had that much effect.

You're beyond sure that you've ran for miles and miles, and yet you haven't heard the roar of an engine or as much as angered yelling. All that you can hear is your breathing growing ragged as you finally collapse, lungs burning as you catch your breath. Reaching up, you wipe at your forehead, realizing just then how much perspiration coated your face with each mile you reached. It's not until you finally gather much needed moisture into your mouth and onto your lips, however, that you notice the silence.

No footsteps.

No sword being drawn.

Nothing.

I'm... I made it? You muse. I... I made it...

That's all you remember thinking, before you find yourself losing yourself in the cradle of unconsciousness.

/I'm nuts, baby, I'm mad,/
/The craziest friend that you've ever had/
/You think I'm psycho, you think I'm gone/
/Tell the psychiatrist something is wrong/
/Over the bend, entirely bonkers/
/You like me best when I'm off my rocker/
/Tell you a secret, I'm not alarmed/
/So what if I'm crazy? The best people are/

Much to your surprise, you woke to see not Kadaj leaning over you, nor Loz and Yazoo curiously looking you over like they sometimes would when they noticed the night terrors strike. Rather, you wake to see sunshine over the white blankets covering your body. Moving around a little, you notice the slightly damp texture of your hair and body, as well as different clothes. Instead of the black leather garb - a trademark of the family, you suppose -, you're in a plain, bright [f/c] dress. Sitting up, you curiously glance around, taking in the familiar features of your new surroundings.

"This..." Your voice is hoarse; most likely from all the running without much water. "This is... my room?"

"Don't think you'll have escaped from us for long."

Jolting at the suddenness, you quickly look around again. Despite the words being right inside of your ear, there's nobody in the room with you. Clutching the blankets in your fists, you soon turn, sliding out of the bed. With piqued curiosity, you glance at the clock just beside the door. It reads two twenty-five.

With set priorities, you descend your home's stairs, smiling at the feeling of the carpet under your feet, as opposed to the cabin's wooden floors. Although your memories of that place aren't too pleasant, you will admit that you relished in the way Yazoo would bite his lip in frustration each time he'd have to help you pull out splinters. Sometimes, he'd pick his head up to ask you how you manage to get so many, but wouldn't let you answer him. It was honestly kind of cute. Well, as cute as the trio could be, anyway.

Making it to the kitchen, you grab a cup from the cabinets, filling it with water and downing it in what feels like one gulp. Eventually, you have another and another, until you're fairly certain that you held enough to where you could become a water fairy. Stretching, you wash the cup out and place it in the drainer, yawning slightly.

"[y/n]?" A familiar voice calls.

"Tifa?" You call back, praying that you have the right person. Lo and behold, there she is, peeking into the kitchen to see if it really is you. Upon seeing you, a grin brightens her features, and the two of you run to each other, hugging tightly.

"We were so worried," Tifa tells you. "Cloud brought you back when he went to find the kids. You looked so dirty and injured - and starving, on top of that. So, I treated you, and made sure you were comfy." How did I get so lucky? "How do you feel?"

"Much better, now that I know for a fact that I'm home," You smile.

The nightmares won't be able to conquer you, anymore - not on their watch.

/You think I'm crazy, you think I'm gone/
/So what if I'm crazy? All the best people are/
/And I think you're crazy too, I know you're gone/
/That's probably the reason that we get along/

/I'm nuts, baby, I'm mad,/
/The craziest friend that you've ever had/
/You think I'm psycho, you think I'm gone/
/Tell the psychiatrist something is wrong/
/Over the bend, entirely bonkers/
/You like me best when I'm off my rocker/
/Tell you a secret, I'm not alarmed/
/So what if I'm crazy? The best people are/
/All the best people are crazy, all the best people are/
/All the best people are crazy, all the best people are/